


Your Head In My Hand

by courtneythenerd



Series: One More Second Chance [2]
Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Boo-Boo Centric, But not really though, Character Study, First Crush, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 11:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13188804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtneythenerd/pseuds/courtneythenerd
Summary: Shaolin was the first. Boo can admit that now.





	Your Head In My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> TGD fandom is suffering from a severe lack of fic about Boo-Boo Kipling.

Shaolin was the first. Boo can admit that now. 

It’s taken him the entire 11-month sentence to finally accept it. Even now, as he sits in the backseat of a very kind stranger’s car, Boo hears a small voice in the back of head telling him that he can always just go back to pretending it’s not true, that it’s  _ easier  _ that way. 

Because it is. The only time being queer isn’t openly hated is in those clubs, the ones that Boo found out Thor took Dizzee to. Being queer everywhere else will get you fucked up. Even the boys in jail with him hated queers, even though a whole lot of them were actually queer, too. 

He pretended to not be queer while he was in jail. He didn’t want the extra attention. 

Boo mostly just flattened himself against the walls so that no one knew he existed in the first place.

But Boo’s never been  _ very  _ good at pretending. He’s a terrible liar.  He never really understood how he tricked everyone into thinking he wasn’t selling. 

So, no, Boo can’t go back to pretending. Not really. Especially not since he’s going  _ home _ . 

**

It says a lot about Boo, that’d he make this stop first thing in the morning. 

Yolanda had told him that Les Inferno had new management. It kinda looks like it: the signs have been touched up, the windows shinier. It looks cleaner overall. 

If Boo looks hard enough, he thinks he can still see blood. 

Yolanda also told Boo about Shao’s new name. 

“Curtis Anderson,” she’d said. 

Curtis Anderson? That doesn’t fit. Sounds too regular. Shaolin Fantastic was anything  _ but  _ regular. He was bombastic, overwhelming, and burning hot. 

Before they ever met him, Dizzee had heard rumors that you couldn’t look him directly in the eye, because his intensity was too much for everybody else. Boo had known that Shaolin was basically a mythical creature, but even he thought that was silly. There was no way that could be true.

Except it kinda was. Shao often was  _ too much  _ for Boo. Too fast, too angry, too big. Too relaxing, too inspiring. Too good-looking. Boo had never met somebody he wanted to be near all the time and as far away from as humanly possible.

Shaolin was the great enigma, a puzzle more complicated than any comic Boo and Ra have ever read. 

Maybe that’s why Boo stuck so close. He wanted to figure Shao out. 

“Be careful when you ask for him,” Yolanda had said right before Boo left this morning. “Mylene says he scares a little easy these days.”

That sentence was an enigma, too. Boo can’t imagine Mylene being able to tell anyone  _ anything _ about Shaolin, especially not about how he’s feeling these days. 

And scaring easy? Boo’s seen Shaolin get scared--and for really fucking good reasons. But he can’t imagine Shao scaring  _ easily _ . 

Boo scares pretty easy, though. He kinda always has, even if he’d gotten better at hiding it. The night they hid the body, Boo was scared out of his mind. He’d never seen a dead body before in real life. Even after Zeke’s little speech, Boo was still terrified. 

Shao helped him feel better later on, though. He did it in his own bulldog-ish way, but still. Boo felt better. 

Boo thinks about that night now, as he leans over the bar and asks for “Curtis Anderson.” Boo thinks about the look of fury, shock and horror that had mixed itself up on Shao’s face. He thinks of the look of determination and mischief in Shao’s eyes as they broke into Les Inferno afterwards.

Boo thinks of Shao telling Boo to come over here and slap Napoleon, like any of them  _ really  _ knew how to intimidate somebody. Not only were they clueless, but Napoleon had been so stressed and terrified that he broke down the second he heard Wolf’s favorite song. As much as Boo understood back then, he understands even better now. Napoleon had just lost his brother.

Boo hadn’t seen any of his since he got locked up. No one. 

The bartender goes to get Shao, muttering about how popular he is, and Boo’s mind goes back to Napoleon. Napoleon made sense to him in a way that most things didn’t. If Shaolin was sometimes too much and everyone else wasn’t enough, Napoleon was the perfect middle for Boo. They both could dream while wide awake and could fly while having their feet firmly on the ground. 

He misses him. If Boo is being real, he misses him so much that it kinda hurts.

He gets the feeling that Napoleon and Shao don’t know each other anymore. Maybe they can be reintroduced. 

Shao freezes to the spot when he sees Boo. His face changes from curiosity to absolute shock. 

Boo chuckles. It’s mostly to calm his own nerves.  

“Hey, Shao.” 

Shao squints at him and tilts his head as if Boo’s an abstract painting. Then he smiles hesitantly.

“I’mma have to get a new job.” 

**

Boo would’ve done it anyway. 

When he first got arrested, Boo was too busy internally freaking out to blame anybody. When he was forced to take a plea to avoid grown-folks jail, he blamed his attorney, who really couldn’t have cared less about what happened to Boo. 

It wasn’t until he was a bus to jail that he started to blame Shaolin. Everyone else in family did. Even Dizzee did while he was still around. 

Not that Dizzee stayed around long enough for Boo to see him again. Between Boo in jail, Yolanda going to California, Ra burying himself in his studies, Thor getting arrested again, and nearly getting run over by a train, Dizzee had finally had enough. He was gone by Boo’s third week away, according to their father. 

“Dizzee’s grown,” their father had said last night. “As long as he’s alive and  _ not  _ in jail, I’m fine with however he chooses to live.”

Winston then apologized for the “not in jail” bit. Boo wasn’t offended last night, and he isn’t offended now. He knew everyone would be mad, that they’d hold it over him for forever. 

But he did it anyway. 

That’s the main reason why Boo can’t blame Shaolin anymore. Because Shao didn’t grab Boo by his neck, put a gun to his head and shove onto a sidewalk with angel dust. Boo had gone to Shaolin asking to be put on. 

And Shao had said no. He said no several times, even told Boo he would buy him whatever he needed, any time he needed it. But Boo had told him that he’d go to that Crazy Chico nigga, and Boo  _ meant it.  _ He would’ve gone to him, because Boo wanted something more than money or Carmelita. 

(He doesn’t think he  _ really  _ wanted Carmelita. He just wanted someone like her to look at someone like him.) 

It sounds stupid as hell when Boo looks back on it, but Shao had honestly thought that he’d be keeping Boo safe by letting him sell under he and Wolf. He even yanked Boo off the street for a little bit after what happened to Dizz. 

Of course, Boo realizes now that Shao couldn’t have ever really kept Boo safe, and that it was pointless to try. 

But Shao had tried. 

Boo says all of this to Shao that night, while they’re sitting on Shao’s couch, anxiously clutching beers in their hands. 

**

Shao’s . . . he’s so different. Careful, hesitant. He’s treating Boo like Boo’s not real; he touches Boo shoulder like he’s afraid his hand will fall right through it. 

“I promise you I’m actually here,” Boo says abruptly when Shao’s skepticism starts to irritate him.

Shao blinks rapidly and pulls out some of the old Shaolin: “Watch your tone, munchkin. A nigga is surprised, okay? I thought you and the rest of your family would never speak to me again.”

And Boo rolls his eyes and smirks.

“Nigga, I’m  _ your  _ height now,” Boo reminds him. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t take joy in the way Shao covertly checks him out. “Plus, were you not listening just now? When I explained why I’m  _ not  _ mad at you anymore?”

Then Shao gets all quiet and careful again, and he shrugs. 

“It’s still kinda weird, man. I didn’t think….none of this would turn out this way.” 

Boo looks all over Shao’s face, taking in how much it’s changed and somehow managed to stay exactly the same. Shao looks older, and a little worn, but he’s still Shaolin Fantastic to Boo, with the same light in his smile. And in his eyes.

Boo shrugs and gives him a small smile. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Boo says. 

Boo tries not to cave when he sees Shao’s eyes search his face. It’s kinda annoying--Shao still sees him as a kid. Even after a year apart and knowing what Boo has gone through, Boo can still see that protective, big brother look in Shao’s eyes. Boo had cherished that look once before--when he and his brothers were Shao’s and Zeke’s brothers, too.

But Shao was never Boo’s brother. And it was silly for Boo to think of him that way. 

Shao’s eyes finally stop at Boo’s hair, and Boo can’t help but blush. He already knows what Shao’s thinking.

“You a little nappy there, Boo,” Shao says with a chuckle.

Boo’s hand goes to the back of his hair defensively.  “Well, nigga, it’s not like they got barbers in jail!” 

Shao reaches over, takes one of Boo’s curls in between two fingers, and gently pulls, watching the tightly-coiled curl stretch out. 

“You gonna let Yolanda cut it?” Shao asks, his eyes focused on the coil of hair.

Boo almost forgets to respond, he’s so distracted. 

“Nah,” Boo drawls out, watching the small “o” Shao’s mouth has formed. “She wants to cut it  _ all  _ off. I kinda like my fro. Even though it’s nappy.” 

Shaolin finally releases the coil, smiling faintly as he springs back to the rest of Boo’s hair. Boo wants to say something smart, maybe make fun of Shao’s thick, curly fro. 

But damn it, man. Shao’s smile, and the look of awe and surprise and nervousness in his eyes. Boo suddenly becomes very aware of the fact that Shao’s hand never left the the back of Boo’s head. Shao’s settled it there, gently cradling Boo’s head. 

Boo feels warm. A little too warm, actually. The feeling grows and, before long, Boo feels like he might suffocate. 

Then Shao frowns. And blushes. 

“I, uh,” Shao stammers, jerkily moving his hand from Boo’s head. 

Boo feels his stomach drop. He wants to crawl out of his skin. It’s been a long time since he’s felt the deadly feeling of rejection.

“I’m sorry,” Boo mutters. “I didn’t mean to . . .”

“Oh, no! You didn’t--I mean, it’s not you? Not really? I mean, I guess it is, but not really,” Shao trips and falls over his words and his eyes dash to the floor. 

Boo feels an exhaustion come over him. He can’t tell if it’s a combination of his journey home and then this emotional rollercoaster he’s on, or if being embarrassed somehow steals your energy. 

“You’re doing wonders for my self-esteem, Shao,” Boo deadpans. 

Shaolin laughs and anxiety makes his voice shake.

“My bad, Boo. What I’m trying to get it is . . . I’m kinda seeing somebody.” 

Shao . . . seeing somebody?

“Like, full-time? Like a relationship?” Boo tilts his head. He can feel himself being invasive, but he also can’t really help it. “Because . . . I mean, that was never--”

“ ‘My style’, yeah,” Shao finishes. He blushes again, but he smiles this time. “Yeah, like a relationship. A weird one? But still. I’m committed.”

“Committed.” The word tastes funny in Boo’s mouth. 

Shao’s eyes light up and he  smiles shyly. 

“Yeah. Shit’s really weird, but . . .” 

But when has it  _ not _  been weird? Boo’s entire childhood was weird; even before he met Shao he was growing up around a nerdy-brother, a soulful sister, two parents who lived in their own world, and an alien. Even now, as he’s growing up into a man, Boo is weirdness and confusion: the weirdness of coming home and seeing everything has stayed and yet changed can’t topped by anything.

Except for maybe Shaolin Fantastic, Boo’s first, most persistent, and weirdest crush ever. 

Shao’s still watching Boo. He’s worried about what Boo is going to say now. He looks younger than Boo has ever seen. For the first time that Boo can remember, Shao is looking at him like he needs to be looked after. 

Boo can do that. It’s not so silly to try anymore.

Boo grins. “Is it somebody I know?”

Shao’s eyes go wide, and Boo bursts into laughter at the sight. 

“Uh, see, that’s not  _ really  _ your business, short-stop,” Shao stammers, trying to talk over Boo’s laugh. 

Boo’s laughter finally dies down. But before Shao can get too relieved, Boo fixes a mischievous look on him.

“You know that just means I’m going to find out, right?” 

Shao shakes his head, fighting the smile that’s pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

“Nope. Not your business means not your business. You outta luck, brother.” 

“I’ll make you tell me eventually.”

“No, the hell you won’t, punk.” 

Boo leans back and takes a drink from his nearly-forgotten beer. He’s not worried about Shao’s secrecy. He’ll figure it out. He’s got time. 

“Keep thinking that, Fantastic. Just keep thinking that.” 

 


End file.
